Stand

This morning, I was looking through the media that I saved from September 11, 2001. As I looked at the TIME magazine from that day, I remembered exactly where I was and how I learned of the tragedy. I did cry a little. On that day, I was in my classroom teaching Reading, when the Social Studies teacher ran in and told me to turn on the TV. I turned it on in time to see the first tower smoking. Then all of a sudden we both spotted the second plane coming into sight and smash into the second tower. Time stood still for a bit. Even my middle-schoolers realized that this was very serious, no time to clown in class. A foreign entity thought to make us fall that day. They failed. As I looked at the pictures in the magazine, I prayed for the survivors of that terrible day in history. There was a caption that read 'Terror's Orphan's". I prayed for those children. I prayed and cried a little more for those that can probably still feel and smell the ash that fell on their  arms and faces. The back cover of the magazine has a picture of the Statue of Liberty still standing strong. Recently we have made a mess of ourselves internally, but we still stand as a nation.
September 11 is momentous for me in another, far more personal way. September 11, 1998 I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, . Since 2001, I have made sure to keep the TV off. There is no mention of the horrors of the attacks. I maintained that 9/11 was a tragic day in history. September 11th is Ben's birthday. He still gets a party and treats. The day is his to celebrate. Then came middle school, and I must let the day be the day that happened.  Like America, Ben has faced many difficult challenges. Times of feast and of famine. Times when there were those that come to bully. So does America. Yet, they both still stand. Benjamin is strong and tall now. He is turning into quite a young man. He has mastered many trials by God's grace. I have hope that America will also triumph over her own struggles, I choose to believe that America will stand. 

Sufficient Grace

You read posts here, or on Facebook, about my ongoing work toward personal wellness and struggles with medication. Now I am going to do what I am asking my doctor to do - call it what it is. I am diagnosed with a rare auto-immune disease called chronic sclerosing sialadenitis IgG4-related (Kuttner's tumor). It has made for a more than interesting year. The thing is, my dear doctor is not giving me a full picture of my prognosis. I know that anything is possible with God. I can be fully healed and have a complete restoration of my immune system and related factors. Yet, she won't give me a 'worse-case scenario' to take to God. I need to be given an opportunity to embrace whatever God is doing in me. Is this going away, or is there some more important spiritual work that God is doing in me? The Apostle Paul had a thorn in his flesh that he asked God three times to remove. Finally, God said," My grace is sufficient for you." Maybe God is deliberately keeping this information from me. I love information. I feel like I can get a handle on things when I have information. Oh-oh. That may be my problem. If I, then I, I can...
With no information, I must trust God. Do I believe Him? Do I really believe that He loves me? My physical strength has diminished, so that I now must trust God to send appropriate help when I need it. Do I believe that His Word is true? He promised that He shall supply all my need according to His riches in glory. Hmmm. Faith is the substance of things hoped for (not demanded: my parenthesis),the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 (KJV). ...the just shall live his faith. Habakkuk2:4 and Hebrews 10:38. I see now. I must embrace exactly what God has given me and trust Him completely to complete me as He sees best. Truly, His grace is sufficient for me.

Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen

Lord, ain't it the truth. Sometimes there are things and events in life that we can't part our lips to tell, somethings we had better not tell. Sometimes it feels that even if you did tell, no one would understand anyway. May not be true, but it feels that way. There are heartaches, heartbreaks, debasements, and humiliations. There are betrayals, abuses, and all manner of ill-treatment. Lord, some of this world's systems that are supposed to be of help, are actually some of the most demoralizing. I guess we ought to finish the lyrics. "Nobody knows but Jesus." True.
I recently had to relive a pain that I thought was so far behind me, I would never see it again. Merciful Lord, that hurt!  I cried so. I got in my car and couldn't drive, so I called a close girlfriend that talked me down off that 'ledge' and I was able to go home.  Can't nobody do me like Jesus! The event didn't last long, but was so very intense. Jesus stepped in through the voice of a faithful friend. When I think  of the goodness of the Lord and all that he has done for me, my soul shouts out 'Hallelujah!'. Thank God, for saving me.
So when you see Sister Going-Through throw up her hands and holler, or Mother Been-Through lose her shoes and hat in the aisle, don't giggle or sneer, be happy that Jesus loves them enough to bring release from their cares. Scripture says that we are to cast all of our cares on Him for He cares for us. The Sweet Lord means it. When in Hebrews we read that we have a high priest that is touched by our infirmities, believe it. Sometimes I give a shout in my hallway, or dance in my kitchen. Sometimes I have to stop whatever I'm doing to give 'it ' up to Jesus...loudly. I've been told that my voice can be heard singing above the crowd. I didn't realize that. All I know is that I have to worship the Lord that sees, hears, knows, and can fix all of my trouble.

Messy Blessings

I am overwhelmed. 
It is by the love and care of God. Sometimes things look like a hot mess. Then the blessings come out of chaos. Scripture tell us that Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox.Proverbs 14:4
The ox labors, and there is a bit of a mess before the full results of that  labor are known. Today was a bit frustrating at first. My house was turned inside out in preparation for a party. Ben and I lead a quiet peaceful life. We have our own routine and style. Then Gd's angel's came (named Elaine, Sharon, and Cynthia) and went to work. The result was a wonderful dinner party with friends bringing gifts. Best of all, my Momma was one happy, dancing lady. There was so much food, that we were all able to take some to our respective freezers. Most of all, I could sense the love and favor of the Lord. It was such a blessed time. As I sit in the quietness of my home I am in awe of a holy and gracious, loving God.  Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:38New King James Version.
I'm not at all sure that I've so much, But I know that my mom has. I simply get to experience the blessing of her overflow. How amazing that this wondrous God would pay notice of me and allow me to just brush the hem of His garment as He danced with my mom.

One Another

At Creekside, we have one anther groups. They are our small home groups to help build community. This is based on all of the Scriptures that teach and admonish us to love one another, forgive one anther, bear one another, and so on. It's been that way since before Ben and I got there, just about 12 years ago. Community. It's about community. Karen calls it 'doing life' together. We wanted to hang out one  evening so we made dinner for both families, the kids played. she and I chatted. There was no big t-do.  Just doing life. At Creekside, there is a baby boom every couple of years. And we take the village concept seriously. Benjamin got so used to being fed by so many loving people that I had to really step up the 'stranger danger' teaching. It's a shame I had to even go there.
Now the group that we started with is in middle school. These used to be babies that saw their parents model acceptance and grace to one another. The kids are growing in stature and in the grace of our Lord. Mission trips, counselors in training, VBS leaders, and more. That is such sweet fruit. Guess what. The moms are growing, as well.
I'm still the only African-American mom challenged with' just how much honesty can I stand with the others?" "The Help" is all the talk. There is going to be a book talk about the subject soon. How much honesty will we give one another?  At least the conversation is going to start. We will find out how much we truly love one another. We have an opportunity to go deeper in grace with one another. The transparency has be there so that we can understand one another better. Have I grown past the fears of the past enough to trust that God will provide the Help?